SimianD's Xanga

Monday, December 13, 2004

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 12:39:49 GMT

Hi. Just got back from d'NA two days ago. I'm moving once again, this time to:

ThirtyOne

Do drop by the new blog; and if ever something unforeseen happens to Blogger, I'll be back here again.

Hoping to see you soon,

SimianD

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 14:13:02 GMT

The MPO International Composers Award finals last night was a wonderful experience. Kee-Yong of Malaysia won. It was fairly judged by the Australian violist and composer Brett Dean.

My personal favourite was the piece by Germany's Moritz Eggert, depicting the sinking of a German ship in Scapa Flow during World War I. It reminded me of Shostakovich, my favourite composer. Moritz won the audience award, in which everyone gets a vote.

Anyway, before the concert I managed to pick up U2's latest album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb from Tower Records. It's quite amazing actually, despite bad reviews in today's Star paper

A very personal album, it's dedicated to Bono's father, Robert Hewson, who died in 2001. Throughout the songs, there is a sense of age setting in, and it's somewhat deeper and darker than 2000's All That You Can't Leave Behind. Spiritual themes in this album tend to probe the 'Father' side of God.

If you don't have it, do drop by www.u2.com and listen online to Miracle Drug, Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, Crumbs from Your Table, Original of the Species and Yahweh.

Looking forward to d'NA... only 108 hours to go!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 13:54:29 GMT

I wrote these during the first paper of EST (the subjective one) yesterday.

Anticipation (2:58 p.m.)

Ever throbbing, my heart

Against these walls, that echo --

Go!

Ever prancing, my hopes are

Ready in a flash, to

Leap upon this chance, for

Young I am.

Infinite seconds dripping by...

Would that it might

Arrive in a flash;

Impossible, but well so, for the wait

Teaches me to appreciate.

Halcyon (3:06 p.m.)

Open up, moment of moments

Where the spirit longs to be;

Thou fleeting second heaven-sent

That arriveth now for me.

The distant drumming of a lover's dream

With swirling colours fading fast;

Appears as speedily as light might seem

And then no more -- its light is past.

But light that travels at much speed

Doth touch a point, is then reversed;

And like a tree that grows to a seed

Brings back the dreamer to the days at first.

Halcyon moment, wait for me.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 12:54:18 GMT

Two Poems

Finally, Physics is over! Actually, it was somewhat easier than I'd expected, and I suppose C.S. Lewis was right when he wrote in The Screwtape Letters, that we 'die and die, and then we're beyond death', 'the tooth ached and ached and then it was out'... I worried about it quite a bit, and then, yesterday I lost the mood to study, thinking it better to rest my mind and clear it a bit.

It paid off. The Sabbath is indeed one of God's most special gifts.

The exam paper actually had some diagrams printed in colour, and it was a really pleasant surprise as our Ministry of Education isn't renowned for its generous use of colour in textbooks and the like.

Anyway, today seemed to be a day of quite a bit of inspiration, and I wrote the following poems during two of the three Physics papers -- the first and the last to be exact.

Hypothetical (9:25 a.m.)

Curtains rise;

Insecure, I worry lest

Nothing learned can be

Applied to the test --

Panic drowns me.

To fear, and gain a little

Or not to fear, and set my mind --

Neighbour of the evanescent.

Ominousity raises my spirit's pace;

Deliver me with grace.

Seven Papers (3:30 p.m.)

Forever longing, for

Release from the

Ever winding road;

Ever hoping that

Drudgery may last

Only the night --

Morning has broken.

*It was originally titled 'Six Papers' in conjunction with the number of subjects whose exams are over, but I'd forgotten Bible Knowledge. It's now rectified to 'Seven Papers'.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 12:44:13 GMT

Dog Thoughts

Yesterday, in between the two Maths papers (there was a break of about 4 hours), Mum took me and Wei Lik to Mid Valley for lunch. I read a bit in MPH, and came across these two quotes (very true and humorous!) from a book on 'lessons we can learn from dogs':

If you think you are a person of influence, try giving a command to another person's dog.

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 12:16:46 GMT

10 Inspirational Thoughts from U2

The following were taken from an interview conducted by Edna Gundersen for USA TODAY.

Bono:

Very good is the enemy of great. You think great is right next door. It's not. It's in another country.

Nothing like bereavement to keep the heart porous. It's hardness of the heart that can close down a writer.

[After Hiroshima]... The world was a much more fragile place... Suddenly, the world had a sell-by date, perhaps. This album... is about who do you love, how do you love, why do you love.

No one notices the blows or sees the bruises. All we're concerned about is where is the beauty.

The Edge:

What we want to preserve above everything else is the creative life of the band. Our approach to being commercial is be really good and original and don't worry about it.

I'm amazed at how personal [the album] is. It's not a manifesto. It's about what matters. It's an honest snapshot of where we're at.

...the band shines more than we could as individuals. We've long since stopped worrying about our personal space or reward in terms of ambition or effort.

Adam:

There's something pure and fundamental about always being able to continue performing your body of work. I can see why Bob Dylan chose that. You start that way and end that way. To carry on playing smaller concerts would be absolutely appropriate. You keep the songs alive.

Larry:

We make mistakes all the time. We're very slow learners, but we do learn. The only way we got to this record was by going down that road. Some mistakes have been our saving grace.

We're still finding our place... We never learned how to do things correctly. We found it more interesting to experiment. We get as excited as children and use our dysfunction and inability to our advantage.

Well, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb will be out tomorrow! Check it out here.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 12:03:41 GMT

Heaven

Recent reflections have brought me to this point where I'm starting to think of the nature of heaven. I guess it's due to the books, the articles, the sermons, the music, maybe even the movies I've been through lately.

We know that heaven is a place where there's no dying, no crying, no pain; in short, everything about it is good. But then there are also those who vehemently suggest that we carry our scars along into heaven, only that they're no longer potent.

And so I wonder... what if there might be sources of hurt, maybe even tears, but we are beyond them? Perhaps it's not that our environment changes, but that we change? Maybe we won't even notice it, even if there's death, because we would be so alive that the most powerful destructive force comes across as a speck of dust in an ocean.

Twin Towers

Today my family and I attended a concert performance by the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. As we were driving into KLCC, I looked at the Twin Towers and thought to myself... even the greatest structures of man don't come close to those of nature.

Actually this thought first came during a flight from Kuching back to KL, during which our attention was brought, via the PA system, to the Twin Towers, visible at night outside the windows. I looked out, and could hardly notice the speck on the earth. "That's the Twin Towers?!"

On our right was Genting Highlands... now this was a different story; we couldn't see the top! Looks like the Creator really left his mark

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 14:10:56 GMT

Quotes

I read this little quote that prefaced a book of hound pictures:

In the beginning

God created man

But seeing him so feeble

He gave him the dog.

- Toussenel

Indeed dogs are such great companions! (I'm looking at my good friend who's lying still as a log now) Mum recalled a little story about how the name 'dog' came about. God was naming the animals, and when he came to the dog, God knew it was special and said "I've turned my name from start to end, and called you 'dog' my friend." (or something to that effect!)

In a USA Today article on U2, Bono said:

Very good is the enemy of great. You think great is right next door. It's not. It's in another country.

Reminds me of something Dr Leong Tien Fock said at DNA last year, that when God created the world, he said it was 'very good' not just 'good'.

Bono also said, referring to his father's death in 2001:

Nothing like bereavement to keep the heart porous. It's hardness of the heart that can close down a writer.

CCM

Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) is a genre that is fast losing ground today. Back in the 70s, CCM was a radical movement that set out to prove that God was not all about hymns alone. The pioneers of the movement, such as Larry Norman, fused rock'n'roll with faith.

But today, it's becoming somewhat lame. With the exception of some writers and singers like Steven Curtis Chapman, CCM seems to be recycling its formulas and it's starting to sound a bit 'manufactured'.

At the same time, many so-called 'secular' bands are engaging spiritual questions, and Brian McLaren is right: "If it's anything the last few centuries have taught us, it is that mankind is incurably religions". CCM must stop promoting its own culture, and start engaging people, truly, where they are.

In a way, this is what sets Christian bands such as U2 and Evanescence apart from the company of CCM.

Humility and Asking Questions

After the forum last night, when I reached home I thought about the idea of asking questions versus putting forward answers. Sometimes asking reflects a person better than answering. In asking questions, we not only show what we're 'made of', but also indicate what we expect; questions well up from the deepest corners of a person's heart and mind.

In answering, we often tend to regurgitate things we've read or heard from others. True, opinions can be original, and many are, but questioning makes room for digression. Yet, as C.S. Lewis has carefully pointed out, we must be careful not to make questioning an end in itself. We must always be ready for answers when they do come, for if we do not expect an answer, questioning becomes a futile 'chasing-the-tail' attempt.

During piano lesson yesterday, my teacher mentioned something her husband said, basically in praise of me. At that very moment, the word 'humility' flashed across my mind. Someone wrote (I can't remember whom, but I think either C.S. Lewis or Dallas Willard) that humility is not denying one's abilities or gifts, but acknowledging them and moving on, knowing God is the one in control here.

This is especially difficult, since the more reserved among us would tend to say "No, not at all. I'm nowhere close..." and the 'prouder' ones would admit their abilitites, and begin puffing up. But unless we're prepared to both recognize what we're capable of, what we're not, and learn to see them in proportion to others and the grace of God, we're in for a lopsided view of life and ourselves.

I try to remind myself, though it is no easy task at all, that there are many ways in which I'm especially gifted, and I try to always let it remain at that, becoming no less than a supernatural endowment whose Giver is the one for whose glory I must use my gifts. 'No less', for if we dare claim our abilities as our own, we rob them of the wonderment and sheer uniqueness that makes us human.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 13:45:11 GMT

Night with Sivin

Last night, I met up with Sivin, May Chin and Gareth at MPH Mid Valley, where he conducted a forum on media literacy. It was kind of Sivin's dream topic (since the first time he'd been engaged to facilitate, a few months ago). Sadly, due to time constraints, we could only skim the surface.

But I think he found it all worth the effort when a student from HELP Institute, Chan, stayed back to ask a few questions. As it turns out, he was the very kind of person Sivin had been looking for, for a long time -- a seeker in every sense of the word. The discussion leaned towards the philosophical, and reached a certain profundity where both realised it would be better to meet up again sometime to continue to conversation...

Sivin brought up something Soren Kierkegaard said, an example he used to illustrate the leap of faith:

"A man is on the edge of a cliff, and there's a fire catching up behind him. Suddenly a voice says 'jump!' The man is unsure; the voice again says 'jump!' And the man says 'but I can't see you!' To which the voice replies, 'yes, but I can see you!'"

After that I followed the Kits and John Cheah & Su Shen to dinner. It was great catching up with Sivin; we hadn't met since his return from Germany several months ago.

Immediately after the forum, when Chan and Sivin began to talk, I wrote this 'impromptu' poem:

Unkempt Hair

A bearded man

Barely knowing what to think

Even with flashes of awareness

Again and again

Racing through the mind.

Denies, he, that knowledge of everything

Even of some things, is known by all,

Daring to become again

More a searcher, a seeker

Afraid of the next step, and

None can tell for sure.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 14:50:41 GMT

Makan Malam

Dinner was great. It was sort of a Deepavali dinner cum debater reunion at Kishan's house. He's our researcher, and a vegetarian, so usually meals at his place are most unique. Vegetarians are great innovators!

Chatting with Dinesh, Danial and Kishan brought back such memories of the 'glory days'... I'm beginning to feel a bit like The Incredibles! Anyway nostalgia is a good thing as long as it's not overindulged.

We talked about things we'd like to do in the future, the current state of the school and country, and the need for change in many things locally and globally. It was Brian McLaren who said change is like a giant wave; we can either ride it, or drown in it. Either way, it is inevitable.

After days spent working on Physics and Moral, and finishing the Old Testament, this was a welcome diversion indeed... Thank God for friends!

Composing

I'd originally taken up the NaNoWriMo challenge to write a novel within this month. Needless to say, it was a rash, headlong idea, considering the fact I have to juggle TMsquared and SPM studies at once. I've abandoned it, barely having begun.

Actually, the idea is quantity not quality. As such, it's the bulk of words that count. Unfortunately, my idea is something I really want to write about, and I mean write. I'm not prepared to waste a half-hearted effort to put out some of the finest ideas I've ever had. In fact, some of the ideas actually spilled over into my English essay paper!

So, I've changed my 'project' to a composition for piano instead. I'm trying to explore the concept of atonality, which is about absence of key in music. This was further developed into serialism and the twelve-tone technique by Arnold Schoenberg. It is this technique that I will be employing in my 'work'.

As it stands, I'm going to attempt a fugue written in twelve-tone technique style, combining two of the most rigid forms of music-writing, both on opposite ends of the spectrum of tradition!

I'm looking into ways to interpret traditional elements, e.g. metre, expression, tempi (plural of tempo), melody and harmony in the light of 'ultra-modernity'... At the same time, I plan to incorporate themes from my intended novel into the Middle Section of the fugue, namely the episodes, after the exposition of the subject.

Whatever may come of it, I leave to the one by whose grace I am able to do all things. Music, after all, is a creation of God's!